Technicolor Women...with Guest Courtney Smallbone

In this conversation, Natalie and Courtney Smallbone explore the theme of women's identity, empowerment, and the importance of community. They discuss the misconceptions surrounding women's expression, the journey of writing 'Technicolor Woman', and the significance of understanding biblical truths about women. The dialogue emphasizes the need for authentic relationships, the challenges of social media, and the responsibility of raising confident children. Ultimately, they encourage women to embrace their uniqueness and seek supportive friendships.

You can order Courtney's book, Technicolor Woman on Amazon at https://a.co/d/49Q9lZx.

Preorder, I Don't Even Like Women on Amazon and wherever books are sold at https://a.co/d/eaMLhZA

Transcript

Natalie (00:02.577)
Well, hello everyone. I am joined here today with Courtney Smallbone, a dear friend of mine from Nashville, Tennessee. And today we are talking about women are so dramatic. Now we have covered a few topics of what women are according to how women speak of each other, maybe how we've had things spoken over us. And today the hope is to debunk the lie.

that it is negative or not okay for women to express ourselves in a dramatic way without it coming across as something that we need to be afraid of as women, as daughters, as children of God. So Courtney, welcome to The Raise This Day. I don't even like women podcast. Let our audience get to know a little bit about you. Tell us about you, your family, what you guys do, all of the things.

Courtney Smallbone (00:56.5)
Yes. my gosh. This is just a complete yes. I love all that you do. All that you're, you know, the, the stuff that's coming from your guts. It's so beautiful. So I'm Courtney Smallbone. I've been married to my husband for 15 years. We've been in the music industry for the whole time. He's in a band called for King and Country and Christian music. So we've traveled the globe with our kids. we're kind of little gypsy souls, you know, we're kind of.

homesteaders, homeschoolers, just out in the wild. And I wrote a book called Technicolor Woman. So this is why like when it's women's identity and all things women, I'm just like, this is the best. But it's 31 days into women's identity, like in the original Hebrew, like what God actually said, and then transformation. So that's the whole like black and white living into technicolor. It's like the gospel is real, it actually totally transforms your life.

and the spiritual practices that make you beautiful and glow from the inside. that's a little bit about me. Those are some of my favorite things.

Natalie (02:03.727)
Now, when we met, I was like instantly drawn to your wardrobe choices. guys, I want you to go and I want you to get Technicolor Woman number one, because the photographs, the imagery, as well as the incredible words of encouragement and biblical formation is so powerful. But your fashion choices just warm my soul, because we really are spirit animals in that regard. Have you always been bold with your fashion choices?

Courtney Smallbone (02:08.129)
Yeah.

Courtney Smallbone (02:30.806)
You know, I, yeah, as a child, I loved rainbows. Okay. I always was drawing rainbows. I loved rainbows. I was super bright. Obviously we go through seasons where we're like black, you know, and all these things where, you know, the different parts of you are like tucked in and obviously they're not tucked in now. So, but I've always loved fashion. I've always loved makeup. I've always loved color. And so, yeah, since I was really young. Yeah.

Natalie (02:57.415)
Do you feel like as a kid that gave you some sort of like an identity, like it was kind of how you could be different than other kids or were you just kind of blissfully unaware?

Courtney Smallbone (03:07.852)
I was blissfully unaware. I didn't care. It just was like, I like it. You know, it wasn't about any of, you know, we can get like that as adults where it's like, we think we have to choose different things, right? Versus like, what do you actually like? You know?

Natalie (03:24.099)
Yeah, and I think as women like to get back some of that childlike faith to be able to walk into a store and think like, I like that. Like, it doesn't matter if Instagram likes it or if, you know, my family likes it or my friends like it. Like, I feel comfortable in this. Now, as a child, were you introverted or extroverted?

Courtney Smallbone (03:31.371)
Yeah.

Courtney Smallbone (03:45.912)
You know what's funny? Probably both and still am. So like, I love people and I'm curious about people and I've been that way since I was a child. And I think people are so interesting and what I love about people is that they're so different. So I don't, the whole like uniformity, everyone be the same, talk the same. I kind of was always looking for the fringe, you know, of like,

this person is into this. wonder why. I wonder what I could like learn from them. So I just always was led with curiosity and differences like weren't scary. Like it made me go closer, you know?

Natalie (04:27.911)
Yeah, and I was thinking about even like being in the world that you're in with all of the Christian music and then also the homestead and the farm. Like there is such a broad spectrum for us as women to say that I can walk a red carpet and stand next to my husband proud and wear the fun dresses and the bright colors and then also be in my farm in the middle of Tennessee homeschooling my children and you know,

loving this peaceful, quiet life. I love the versatility of being a woman. And I want you to tell me a little bit about what made you want to write Technicolor Woman. Like what was that journey like for you? Who were you thinking about when you were writing that?

Courtney Smallbone (05:00.238)
That's it.

Courtney Smallbone (05:09.74)
I also love that you said that because recently I literally was in a sequence like bodycon dress with all the color and then like the next day, a chicken got loose and I was like ratchet and sweaty and disgusting and I like jumped on it, spilled my coffee while my kids are watching. So I was like, this is what's up. Like it's, it's all of it. And so we can't, we can't like limit ourselves, you know? well really technicolor woman came from

Natalie (05:25.681)
This is life.

Courtney Smallbone (05:37.89)
gosh, honestly, seeing a lot of bad theology around women and a lot of horrible books written around women. I was looking for women's identity books and I was met with a lot of horrifying things. And I think the Lord really took hold of my heart for his women.

of what he actually said and what he meant and the things that tangle us up and the lies that tangle us up. And I think, you know, the Lord's intention was for us to reflect him in a very specific way. And what I was finding was theologies that women are cursed or

Which is crazy because I'm like have you read the Bible like it said Jesus already dealt with that like why are you? Spitting on the blood of Jesus like it actually like probably righteous anger rose up about that where it's like that's not even true I think yeah, we live in the Bible belt and The Bible belt's interesting. It's a very religious atmosphere and what I've experienced here as a woman was different than like when I lived in South, Florida where

working on staff at a church, you know, like you're honored as a leader and like, there's no problem. And then if you come into a church system here, I was really met with like, you do admin or you do certain jobs. And I was like, why do I feel so different? So I started asking myself why I was feeling so different. I asked my dad, he was a pastor for a long time. I come from like a lineage of pastors and I asked him,

Why do I feel this way? Why did I never feel this way growing up? You know, and he said because my theology was right as in You're not lesser, right? And I think we can find environments There's different books. There's different things that that literally are the power systems that Jesus came to demolish Which is one person over another whether that's like male-female race

Courtney Smallbone (07:50.638)
like money, you we make these power systems that Jesus came to demolish. And so I think just feeling the difference, I started writing and searching like what was the true meaning? Like what was the actual, like what did you say? You know what I'm saying? It's so important to read the word of God and to read the original translation and to do that work yourself. Like don't just get it secondhand, because there's like secondhand theologies out there that terrified me.

that I'm like, women are coming under this. They're literally putting themselves back under the curse, because you can do that, right? And the enemy loves it. He's like, yes, come back under the curse, right? And so it was really my journey of like, what's true? Like, what is actually true? And it became for more than just me, you know?

Natalie (08:45.433)
Yeah, and I love how the scriptures tell us that truth will set us free when we know that truth it frees us from so much. Was there a specific truth as you were writing this about what God says about women or the words as about women that just came alive to you as you were writing it that you've kind of been like, man, I'm proud to be a daughter. I'm proud to be a woman who carries this gospel.

Courtney Smallbone (08:49.058)
Yeah. Yes.

Courtney Smallbone (09:08.492)
Yeah, I mean, I found so many amazing nuggets and it changed the whole script for me. I mean, Helper was huge for me. You know, it's like, I think you hear like,

You know, the man and the woman are made and the woman is coming as a helper. Like I will make a helper suitable for him. And I think in the English language, we think like a maid, like someone lesser, a, like a servant, like a helper. And then you dig into the Hebrew and it's, it's an attribute of God. It's Ezra Conegdo, which is a strong counterpart, which is like side by side. And it's actually like a military term, which is.

When Israel was under siege, I need help, God my help. And it's like, whoa, that flips everything. It's like, it's not this like you need to be tame and you need to not be strong and you need to, you know I'm saying? All of those things I think I've heard or received throughout a lifetime. was actually daughter, you carry my DNA and it's not wrong.

And I'm someone who like, love being married. I love being a mother. I love it all. And I love how God makes men and I love how God makes women. And I see this like unity and healing that needs to happen in the body of Christ so we can actually plow because it's like harvest time and we need harvesters. And so I just see like that needs to be side by side.

which is what he had in mind was unity, was not one without the other, even down to the language to the original. It is together, strong, holding different parts. And it's so beautiful. And his heart for unity is so beautiful.

Natalie (11:12.331)
man. And I wonder if like, part of our issue as women, some of the lies that we believe is in being called dramatic or being too much or too loud or not enough is all because we're trying to defend a position that doesn't need defended.

Courtney Smallbone (11:26.123)
Mm-hmm.

Courtney Smallbone (11:30.2)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie (11:34.363)
Like if we are that helper, we're that warrior, and then we're over here and we're screaming, like we're like, pay attention. Like we've got something to say. We've got something to contribute. And I think for a lot of young girls raised up even in households where they watch their mother's voice be devalued or people around them not value theirs. Talk to me a little bit about that. You, your dad was a pastor. You grew up in obviously a very woman affirming culture. You're married to an incredible man who champions you.

What are you seeing as you're going out to these other churches and doing ministry in comparison to what you grew up in? How are you helping to flip that script a little bit?

Courtney Smallbone (12:13.548)
Yeah, so my mother is incredible. She's like truth teller. I mean, she would just tell us straight up, like, if you don't get it right at home, you don't go anywhere else. know, like, there were no masks, no pretending as the pastor's kid. Like, we're not hiding that. And I so love her and honor her for that.

She, you know, she was a working mom. Like she's extremely smart. Like she helped me edit my whole book. She writes full time. Like, so I would go with her while she was teaching college courses. So I was raised by a woman who was an incredible wife and incredible mother and incredible at the things she loved. And, and I just thought that was amazing. And yet like put meatloaf on the table. You know what I'm saying? This was Indiana. And so.

gosh, it's just, it's so cool. Cause I so honor them and what, you know, you don't sometimes always see it until you're stepping back. And I'm like, wow, like that was such a gift. But I've also been in a lot of environments, whether working or coming into them and you can feel it. So I'm very sensitive to religion, very sensitive. And I can feel when women are kind of under that. So there is one.

place recently I was speaking at and I could literally feel like their voices were muzzled and I was like okay so that's religion and so what's great about the truth right

The truth sets free. And so as I'm teaching, as I'm just telling them the truth, this is what happens. The unraveling happens, the freedom happens. And at the end, it's like, I had so many women come up to me and say that actually felt different, or some of them actually felt something in their body, which that was kind of crazy. I was like, that's amazing. Right? But it's true. This is how the Holy Spirit works. This is how the word it cuts.

Courtney Smallbone (14:15.714)
through. So if you offer the truth and the word, I have full faith that it's going to slice and dice as it needs to. I don't need to like, you know, like, even though like, trust me, I really want to sometimes. But sometimes when you just understand the power of the Word of God and the truth, it's like it just started doing it. And so I'm noticing

in different environments, different things are needed with women. I think a lot of women are under religion. A lot of women are under condemnation. I get that a lot. There's a lot of shame. There's a lot of competition. And so I'm seeing themes of what I believe God is freeing his women from for a purpose, for a kingdom purpose. And so it's been really cool.

to witness that and to see that like in real time.

Natalie (15:12.749)
And for you to get to be a beautiful part of helping to activate those voices, because I do think that when women see other women stepping into their strength, whether it's in confidence in what we're wearing, how we're using our voices, how we're ministering the gospel of Jesus Christ, like there's empowerment when women see other women using their voices to speak truth and biblical truth above all things. I'm curious, you know, as a woman who I know is prophetic, you have been

Courtney Smallbone (15:37.676)
Yes.

Natalie (15:42.615)
prophetic in my life. How have you taken maybe some of the negative things that have been spoken over you as a woman, maybe that you are too bold, too much, whatever those are. I get that all the time growing up. Like, you know, Natalie, you just, say things so strongly. You need to bring that back so you don't hurt people's feelings. Like how have you used some of those things to really lean into the prophetic gifting? And just to remind her guys, prophecy is just speaking the word of God without any

Courtney Smallbone (15:59.874)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Natalie (16:11.995)
fear. It's when we prophesy, we're basically speaking the word of God over each other. It can be backed up by the scripture. It's not scary, but it can be scary when you're delivering it to someone and they're not ready for that hit or whatever. So how have you, how have you learned to use your voice? Who, who teaches you or is it the Holy Spirit? Is it a combination of mentorship? What does that look like?

Courtney Smallbone (16:35.13)
goodness. I would say spiritual practices. It would be daily repentance. It's all the inward work. It's nothing actually like, yes, mentors are amazing, but until you're like crucifying your flesh daily, good luck. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't need a mentor. My mentor is not with me, like in my soul holding unforgiveness, right? But it says confess with your mouth and be healed. So, know, mentors, my husband, I'll be like,

babe, I really need to like release this bitterness towards so-and-so, like it's actually really, you know, hurting me, you know, like whether that's emotionally or physically. The spiritual practices, the daily living, it's the daily, it's the daily cross. It's the daily repentance. It's the daily, I lay myself down again for whatever God wants to do in and through me. And it doesn't matter where it is or who it is. It's just,

I'm in love. So it's the daily receiving Him, the Word of God, His love. I remember doing a lot outside of His love and you minister differently than when you're actually in His love and you can feel the difference. And so...

I want to stay in his love. I want to stay in his heart. I want to stay crucified because it's amazing because the cross always brings resurrection, always brings new life. So these are things that keep me, you know.

It's all of that inward stuff that affects everything out here. Cause you know, we live in a culture that wants to work out here from the out here. Like what do you do? All these things. And I'm like, no, no. Like who are you? Who are you becoming? What is God transforming in you? Because when you're truly transformed, that's just what comes out. You know, I, I, we're not like whitewashed tombs. We're not trying to present something, but not actually be it. And so I'm more concerned about

Courtney Smallbone (18:37.174)
right in here because no one else can do that but me because you could be like, she's just whatever and I'm like, I'm having unforgiveness issues with so and so and like, I need to repent, you know, saying you can put on all the things but like God sees the heart, you know, and so I'm really aware of keeping our hearts and that's an individual job. That's like not anyone else's job but like to

but us to keep our hearts.

Natalie (19:08.689)
And you're making a good point. Like we watch people from social media. We see people successful. We are watching people, parents, you know, we're seeing inward lives that probably weren't meant to actually be witnessed in the public, if we're honest. How do you keep your heart pure from?

Courtney Smallbone (19:25.538)
Yeah.

Natalie (19:29.243)
One, looking into other people's lives and saying like, that looks tempting or not putting on those masks so that people look into your life and think you're a perfect homestead wife who travels the world with your rock star husband. How do we balance that? Because it's true, we are seeing into people's homes and lives in ways that we never have before.

Courtney Smallbone (19:44.802)
Yep. Yep.

Courtney Smallbone (19:50.019)
Yes.

Yes.

Yes, it's so wild. And you know, our culture worships comfort and our culture worships our highlight reels. And so if you just decide you're not going to worship the highlight reels, and you just want a real life, then that's what you'll do. Social media is great. But a lot of people are using it as a filter for their only living. They're not even talking to people. They're not in community. They're not serving. They're not hitting the streets telling people

Jesus, they're not like actually moving their feet. That's dangerous because it's literally a screen. Okay, like this is not real people. Like we're made to like connect, we're made to have intimacy. For me, I'm not in control of what anyone thinks of me. And I've given up like a long time ago. I've had so many things like said, you know, like, it's just easier for you or whatever, like your boldness is just easier. I'm like, no, I just don't quit.

Like, no, I'm just hungry. You know what saying? The same thing's offered to you. So I think it's important to not also not get tripped up with even the insecurity of trying to control how people see you. Like, don't even just give up. Like, because here's the thing, you can literally do your best, right? Like, we know this. You can do your best and you know you have a pure heart and you're being earnest. There's always one person who's like, right, right, right. Like whether in real life or

Courtney Smallbone (21:23.368)
on social media and I'm like, I'm not living for you. You're not the one who sees my heart. But gosh, it's like wild out there. It's like feral and I know you get it because you get it. But it's like, we live in such a world that through the filters, we think that's real. And I think it's so good.

And it's a challenge to every Christian, especially in America, to not live your life through filters. And I'm not talking about what you present online or don't because trust me, people are writing journal entries online and I'm like, girl, you need a therapist. No one wants to hear that. I am so sorry. This is not the time and place. And then some people are like, my gosh, this is amazing. And it's like, whatever. We can't judge people. I'm very, very into the verse.

If you judge, I will judge you in the same way. So like, I'm like, I don't want to be judged that way. And I just, think it's really important to live a real life and let everything else just like fall off and to, and to stay tender and to stay, like you can be strong and soft, but like someone will not get you and that's okay. but also not be like,

Natalie (22:31.001)
you

Courtney Smallbone (22:46.542)
punk rock, like no one gets me and all this stuff and you're living in self protection and it's also pride. It's real hard to find that balance because I know I go back and forth between being so soft and then I'm like, someone hurt me so bad. I should never do that again. And then I'm like, screw you. I'm so hardcore. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, where, where is it? But again, it comes back to like me, right? So I could post something.

Natalie (23:04.071)
you

Natalie (23:13.393)
Mm-hmm.

Courtney Smallbone (23:16.682)
in pride, no one would know. It might look fine. It also might look spiritual. It might be a Bible verse, but I'm like, I look so smart right now. Right? So I'm just saying we have to be so aware things are not what they seem like. We're living in the matrix.

Natalie (23:34.271)
Yeah. And you know, I was thinking about it, like how when we get to heaven, we're going to be so different as a generation because we're being held accountable for not just our actions and our thoughts, but our social media posts. it's going to be a whole section for millennials in gen X and gen Z. I didn't know the words were satanic.

Courtney Smallbone (23:47.662)
Woo!

Courtney Smallbone (23:51.854)
They're gonna be like, I was just doing this dance. It was totally fine.

I didn't know I was doing that.

Natalie (24:00.039)
Yeah, there's just it's such a unique season that we live in I know speaking of you and I are raising daughters and so you know this could be its own podcast But I mean I've got one one who is like, you know the model, you know first child responsible and everything and then I've got this other one who is artistic and just such a fun Beautiful expression of God's creativity and so two different girls under two roof

Courtney Smallbone (24:03.542)
Yes!

Yes.

You

Courtney Smallbone (24:16.429)
Mm-hmm.

Courtney Smallbone (24:19.948)
Yeah.

Courtney Smallbone (24:25.815)
Hmm

Natalie (24:28.679)
You know, one roof who is basically, you know, living their best lives in their own way. But, you know, we have the boundaries around social media and also how we talk to them about their friends and their friendships. What are you thinking as you're raising your little one? Because she is precious, number one, but she's still in like footy pajamas. So there's still like a little bit of like youth in her that you're like, we can save this one. So how are you doing?

Courtney Smallbone (24:34.542)
Yeah.

Courtney Smallbone (24:44.557)
Yeah.

Courtney Smallbone (24:48.59)
Yeah.

Natalie (24:55.457)
as a mom and a woman knowing all of these things that we've learned about being a woman.

Courtney Smallbone (24:59.948)
Yes, so Jude, our oldest, he's going into seventh grade and he has like a gab watch and all this stuff. I think it's important, like when we're talking about social media and talking about all these things, there are parents that just like give it to their kids with no like teaching. And so that's like super dangerous. I think having real conversations of instead of like,

It's like the pendulum always swings, right? You have moms that are like, hide them from everything. Don't tell them anything, which is dangerous. And then the other side, which is like just whatever, which is also dangerous. So for Luke and I, we're always the first conversation. So if it's pornography, you're going to hear it first. like, you know what I'm saying? If it's all about your body parts and like what's appropriate and what's not appropriate.

It's from us. If it's about drugs, alcohol, like we will tell you everything. Just come to us. Don't let your curiosity go to the internet. Don't let it go to chat GPT. Like, like parents need to actually parent and to disciple. It's actually discipleship. So, and like with Evy, like my sweet little girl, like she's four and she's watching me. Right. So I, I'm very aware.

as a parent, it's not even what I say, it's what I'm doing. And so like they become who you are, not what you tell them to do. And so I just, which is like, gosh, holy fire, isn't it? It's holy fire when you're like, know what I'm saying? Like, whoa, you just sounded like me. You just reacted like me and it was not cute, you know? And so I'm thankful for that, even though it's excruciating at times, but

For Evy, it's like, I want her to feel confident, just like any of my kids. I want them to be really cool with just how God has made them. I'm not talking about being like prideful and idiots. Like I'm not, don't want to raise kids to go into the world and be like, whoa, you just, you weren't told no, you know what saying? But it's like, I want them to feel confident in who they are. And one way we even cultivate that is celebrating how different they are.

Courtney Smallbone (27:18.902)
And it's not like, it's funny, we just had this conversation where it's like, I've always said to the kids, you're going to be naturally good at things and you're going to be naturally bad at things. like, don't expect to actually win at everything and be great at everything. And so you need to win well and you need to lose well. And this helps develop in them. What am I actually really naturally good at? And be great, like just be like, that's cool.

What are you actually naturally not good at and be okay with that? You know, so it's already developing that muscle of like, how God made you is specific and it's gonna look different than everyone else and that's not a problem. And that's not even something to fight over. And that's not even something to compete over. How many of us needed to hear this as kids and like in women's groups and stuff? Cause I feel like I'm having this conversation also all the time, not even just around a dinner table, but with women where it's like, hi.

I don't want you to be like me. I want you to be like you. I want to see God inside of you, what he made you to be. Like, there's no competition unless you're making it a competition, which is like spirals out of control and gets us distracted. But there's beauty, like how you're talking about your two daughters. They're different flowers. You know what I'm saying? Like one might be this wildflower daisy and the other's this rose.

how beautiful they both are. They're both a different fragrance, right? And so it just flips the whole script of I'm not, right? Instead of, but look what I am. And it's beautiful.

Natalie (29:01.927)
And how freeing is that then when we're in community with other women to sit around a table and to not compare, but to really just delight in the differences and in the way God uses us to bring beauty to different people and scenarios. And talk to me a little bit about your adult friendships now as a woman, because I see you have an entourage of amazing women that are in your life, whether they're flying in or they live by you. What is it that you're

Courtney Smallbone (29:27.0)
Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie (29:31.721)
looking for in friendships with women now that you're an adult.

Courtney Smallbone (29:36.428)
Yeah, I have deep community and deep friendships with a lot of women of different ages and it's such a gift. wasn't always that way. I feel like I prayed it in and it took a real long time. I have women who are like old enough to be my mother. I just had coffee with her on Saturday and we just have these check-ins. And then I have another dear friend. She's like...

She's like an auntie, right? And we do a lot together. And I have so many women who are like my age or a little older, a little younger. So it's like, it's all of the ages. And some of them you're like, you are like pulling up. And then the other ones you're like pulling up and it's so beautiful. And they're all so different. Like, and that's what's so fun. And it's like.

we can have like charcuterie and laugh at each other's differences where I'm like, Shelby totally missed that. And she's just like crying, laughing at it, you know? And then you have like the super organized one that's like, we got to hit this and all this stuff. I'm like, and then she loves that about me and I love that about her. And, and it's so great. And so, but there's been hard conversations too of like, Hey, you hurt me. Did you mean to say that this is how it felt? So I'm saying

Every relationship is going to cost you time, it's going to cost you humility. And even just saying like, I feel sensitive right now and that really hurt. And it's been really healing to have women that feel like sisters, like, like women who literally before I come in today, I'm like, before I can even text them, they're like, I'm praying for your day.

and how are you? And like actually makes me want to cry. It's like, it's the love and the unity that we're created for. And it's hard fought for because again, we live in a very individualistic society that's like, I'm one man show, right? I make it to the top by myself. You we all have our cars and we're not living in deep community.

Courtney Smallbone (31:49.46)
and we've actually gone the opposite way where it's like, actually, like I share milk with my neighbor and, and, and like, you know I'm saying? Just basic, like basic life. Like I grew up that way where I had like a neighbor with a cup of sugar, but there's something really holy about it because you start getting into each other's lives and what happens? You sharpen each other and you can't hide.

Natalie (32:15.207)
Hmm.

Courtney Smallbone (32:17.068)
So like if I'm having a really hard day and I've been crying, my friend can see that. And there's something about being witnesses to each other's lives and what God's doing in each other and coming around and supporting one another and like all be your doula in life of what God is putting in you. It is holy and like it is my favorite thing. Like I love celebrating everyone around me. Like everyone.

deserves to be celebrated. Everyone has a seed of God in them. And I'm like, biggest hype girl ever with like, even just seeing what God is doing in women around me. I'm like, go! And I'm always like, swing for the fences, you know? Like, come on. And it's so encouraging and uplifting and strengthening.

Natalie (32:55.111)
you

Natalie (33:08.859)
Well, I can attest that you are that friend. And, you know, I want you guys to listen to this though, because I think we listen to podcasts and we hear women or we see it on social media and we think I want a friend like that. And trust me, you do. You want a friend like Courtney. But here's what I want you to know is that you have women like Courtney and like other women who are cheerleaders in your churches and your small groups.

Community comes to those who are committed to finding it. And so Courtney, what would you say? mean, I know these friendships have developed over time. You've probably had to pursue some people. Some people have probably had to pursue you. What would you say to the woman who was like, I want this kind of a friend? Like, what would you say to them?

Courtney Smallbone (33:48.172)
Yeah. Yes. First, bring all your requests to God. Because I asked the Lord, I was like, Lord, I really need some good friends. Because I had some other friends who were like, I'm like, I don't need friends who are going to come over and like look at my house and be like, your house is messy and expect perfection. I was like, I don't have time for that. I also, I am not friends with anyone who gossips. Like the only friend I've cut out probably in the last two or three years,

was because she just was a gossiper. And I was like, biblically, and honestly, it feels awful. Because if it's happening to one person, it's happening to you, I just have no space for that. And it's okay to have boundaries. So it's like we need because there's some crazy people out there. There are a lot of people who want to be my friends for alternative motives. So there there you need boundaries and you need doors and people who honor boundaries and doors and they go through checks and balances of safety.

Natalie (34:36.572)
Yes.

Courtney Smallbone (34:46.838)
are allowed to the inner courts of your life where it's like check their fruit. I don't care what people say, I wanna see the fruit of your life. Because a lot of people can talk, but a lot of people like the fruit just shows and that's biblical as well. So I would ask the Lord and then I would like have your boundaries of what you want in a friend and what you don't because who you hang out with, you will become like them. So it's a powerful thing to...

have a group because there's a lot of girl groups that go on the girls trip and they're like getting drunk and all this stuff and I'm like and they're like Christians and I'm like for real we're like living on this low level of life like we are called to a higher level so like that's not I'm not talking about a girl group like that I'm talking about women on mission I'm talking about like we have coffee together and like we pray for healing with people together

We see this like it's the Jesus work, but with women, like I'm not talking about what the world offers. I'm talking about kingdom women and you can find them in church. can find them in small groups, a prayer group, just season of life. Like your kid is in a sport and then that mom's there and you're like, you rock. We like the same thing. Cool. And, but you're going to have to make room in your life. Cause a lot of people want deep relationship, but they're like not willing to offer time.

I've heard that too. It's like, I just don't have time. Then I'm like, what kind of delusion are you living in? What do you want? Right? Because community doesn't just happen. You have to like, just like working out, you have to put it in the calendar, everything I put in the calendar. So it's like everything of utmost importance goes in first. And this is healthy. This is so healthy because people who do not have community, they get really weird. Hey,

Like, right? There's no checks and balances. They're always leaving the churches because they have some like spiritual, you know, like path of their, and I'm like, no, you actually can't come under authority. And that's really scary. So you have to have community. You don't get to get out of community and you actually will love it. You know?

Natalie (37:00.473)
It's true. It's true. And I think a lot of women say they don't like women or they don't want to be friends with women because they haven't encountered biblical sisterhood. That is exactly what you just laid out. And is it easy? No, what I'm hearing you say is that it's not about quantity is about quality. We don't need a sorority at 45 or 50 or 35. We just need a few who can go through those doors and respect those boundaries. And guys, if that's one, if it's two, thank you, Jesus.

Courtney Smallbone (37:04.855)
Yes.

Courtney Smallbone (37:28.373)
Thank you.

Natalie (37:29.243)
Thank you, Jesus. Well, Courtney, it has been a joy to talk to you. And again, guys, check out Courtney Smallbone, her book. We'll find out all of the information after she prays for us. I would just love an opportunity, Courtney, for you to pray over the listeners, to pray over the women who are hearing this, and to encourage them just in the way that the Lord has encouraged you.

Courtney Smallbone (37:52.288)
Yes, I would love to. Lord, I thank you so much for Natalie. I thank you for her voice. I thank you for everything you've put in her. Lord, I ask that you would have your hand on her, that you would strengthen her, Lord. That you'd be her shield and rear guard in this season. And Lord, I pray for every woman listening, that they would know how loved they are, that they are your daughter, that they are made in your image.

that they have a specific name and identity that you have put in them, Lord. And I ask that those seeds would grow and bloom in each woman. I ask that you would remove anything that's hindering their growth and their love and your spirit for thriving within them. And Lord, I ask for sisterhood relationships to come in their life and that they would have eyes to see and hearts to receive them, Lord.

I asked that you would break down competition and that we would see women come together and move in the kingdom together. Lord, that you would bring your healing through the place that has been so fractured in women, that you would actually go to that place and redeem it and restore it and do more than what we can ask or think or imagine.

Lord, I ask that you would bless them, bless their marriages, bless their children, bless the work of their hands, Lord. And Lord, I just ask that they would look at you and that they wouldn't look around, Lord, that they would fall more in love with you and that they would receive more from you in this season than ever, Lord. We pray all of this in your mighty name, Jesus, amen.

Natalie (39:33.127)
.

Natalie (39:39.597)
Amen. Well, Courtney, thank you again. Tell all of our listeners where they can pick up a copy of Technicolor Woman and follow along with you on your homestead and life that you live.

Courtney Smallbone (39:48.466)
Yes. Yes, I love it. Technicolorwoman.com and Amazon because I know everyone loves loves them some Amazon. And then I'm Courtney Smallbone underdash on Instagram and you'll see Technicolorwoman. You'll see like the little picture from the book. You'll see my cute kids and my cows. It's like all of it, right? It's like funny reels. And then like deep, deep things that I'm like, look at my cucumbers. So

Welcome to my life, everyone. Come on in.

Natalie (40:18.215)
And yes, and find yourself a friend like Courtney who sends you the best 90s Christian memes ever. It makes my day. So Courtney, thank you for being with me. Thank you for being my Technicolor friend. I love you so much. All right. We'll see you guys next time on the I Don't Even Like Women's podcast.